Thursday, June 13, 2013

If homosexuals are not supposed to practice homosexual tendencies, it is safe to assume that they are called by God to live single lives? So why does God call people to live single lives? Isn't everybody entitled to a spouse?

A: You have two questions here, and they are related to each other. First, are people with homosexual tendencies called to live single lives? People with homosexual desires are called to repent and live a holy life. According to the Bible, homosexual desires (tendencies) are sinful. People with that desires should struggle and fight against them. They can experience true change, healing and victory or live a single life.

Second, why does God call people to live a single life? Isn’t everybody entitled to a spouse? Singleness is a gift and call. Paul says, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another’ (1 Corinthians 7:7). In his writings, Paul always uses the word “gift” to mean an ability God gives to build others up. So being single is a gift and call. The call of being single is to bear fruit in life and ministry through the single state. When you have this gift, you might struggle with your singleness, but God will help you to grow spiritually and be fruitful in the lives of others.

The purpose of both singleness and marriage is to create communities (the church) which are a sign of the glory of the coming (and present) kingdom of God. To do that, every church needs a combination of both Christian married couples and Christian singles. Both couples and singles can minister to each other. Singles and marrieds both point to the hope of Christ in different ways. And the world needs to see both.

So isn't everybody entitled to a spouse? No. We should avoid idolizing marriage. Even the best marriage cannot by itself fill the void in our souls left by God. Without a deeply fulfilling love relationship with Christ now, and hope in a perfect love relationship with him in the future, married Christians will put too much pressure on their marriage to fulfill them, and that will always create pathology in their lives.

Christians are to choose between marriage and singleness not a) for the basic contemporary motive (idolatry) of personal fulfillment nor b) for the traditional motive (idolatry) that you aren’t ‘anybody’ unless you have a family and children. Rather, we marry (or not) on the basis of which state makes us best a sign of the kingdom of God.

Note: my response to the second part of the question is based on Tim Keller's article, "Gospel-Community: Singleness, Marriage, and Family".

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