Bahaya namun bahagia

Berikut ini stastistik pendeta dari “Pastors At Greater Risk” by H. B. London Jr. and Neil Wiseman, Regal Books, 2003.

• 80% of pastors say they have insufficient time with spouse and that ministry has a negative effect on their family.
• 40% report a serious conflict with a parishioner once a month.
• 33% say that being in ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
• 75% report they've had a significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
• 58% of pastors indicate that their spouse needs to work either part time or full time to supplement the family income.
• 56% of pastors' wives say they have no close friends.
• 45% of pastors' wives say the greatest danger to them and family is physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burnout.
• 21% of pastors' wives want more privacy.
• Pastors who work fewer than 50 hours a week are 35% more likely to be terminated.
• 40% of pastors considered leaving the pastorate in the past three months.

Kalau anda mulai merasa sesak, maafkan saya, berikut ini statistik tambahan:

• 1500 pastors leave the ministry each month due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their churches.
• 50% of pastors’ marriages will end in divorce.
• 80% of pastors and eighty-four percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their role as pastors.
• 50% of pastors are so discouraged that they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way of making a living.
• 80% of seminary and Bible school graduates who enter the ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
• 70% of pastors constantly fight depression.
• Almost 50% polled said they have had an extra-marital affair since beginning their ministry.
• 70% said the only time they spend studying the Word is when they are preparing their sermons. [Compiled by pastor Darrin Patrick]

Agar terjadi ekuilibrium, maka saya sertakan pula di bawah ini sebuah reportase yang terang. Sekarang anda boleh merasa lega dan tersenyum lebar.

Service to others not just a job
Clergy happiest in U.S. work force, survey indicates
By KRISTINA HERRNDOBLER Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle
April 20, 2007, 2:05PM

Clergy may complain about their salaries or the blurred boundaries between their work and private lives, but apparently they are as happy as it gets.

That's according to a study on job satisfaction and general happiness by the University of Chicago, in which 87 percent of clergy polled said they were very satisfied with their jobs. Clergy also topped the happiness scale, with 67 percent saying they were very happy.

When researchers asked those questions of 27,500 randomly selected U.S. workers over the course of nearly two decades, only 47 percent of people said they were very satisfied with their jobs and 33 percent said they were generally very happy. The survey did not show whether job satisfaction and happiness rates had changed over the years.

After clergy, the most satisfied workers were firefighters at 80 percent and physical therapists at 78 percent, according to the report released Tuesday.

Roofers ranked dead last, with only 25 percent saying they found their work satisfying.

The most satisfying professions are those that involve helping others, noted report author Tom W. Smith of the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.

Even so, he called the clergy's rankings striking, saying they were the study's single strongest finding.

They are also a bit surprising, said J. Pittman McGehee, a former dean of Houston's Christ Church Cathedral who now works as Jungian analyst, counseling both clergy and their families.

After learning of this study, McGehee asked a group of clergy their thoughts: "They laughed out loud when I said 87 percent," he said. "They were shocked."

Out of respect for ordination, the clergy surveyed may have felt constrained to tell researchers that they were satisfied and happy in a way that other workers wouldn't, he said.

Nonetheless, McGehee said most clergy love their calling, meaning the teaching, preaching, pastoring and sacramental part of it. They aren't fond of the politics, the pay and the administrative duties.

"The vocational part of it is as fulfilling as any job could be," he said. "The job is a hard one because of all the things you are asked to do, none of which you are trained for and none of which you are called to do."

When Jackson W. Carroll, a professor emeritus of religion and society at Duke Divinity School, set out to study ministers' job satisfaction some years back, he assumed the results would show low satisfaction and morale.

“We were surprised to find that clergy were both basically satisfied and highly committed to their calling,” Carroll said. "That was not what we had expected to find based on informal conversation and listening to clergy in gripe sessions."

Numerous studies have been done on the satisfaction rates of clergy from various religions and denominations, he said, and they overwhelmingly show high levels of satisfaction, likely because they feel their work is not just a job but a calling from God, he said.

But for their wives and families, who may not feel the same calling, it can be a tough life.

Ginger Kolbaba, the daughter of a pastor and co-author of the new novel Desperate Pastors' Wives, said that she has seen how spiritually satisfying her father's life has been to him, especially when he can help people.

But his job took its toll on their family, she said.

"I'm one of the fortunate ones, in that I didn't do a lot of outward rebelling, like doing drugs and partying," she said. "But I turned it inward to anger. Kids don't sign up for the gig."

Austin pastor Dan Davis, a former businessman who now heads pastor covenant groups, said there is a tremendous amount of pressure on those he meets with, and their families, including overbearing church boards and sharing parishioners' struggles and pain. But the end goal is worthy, he said.

"There is a deeper satisfaction that comes from knowing you are connecting people with God," Davis said. "You don't experience that in the secular world." [kristina.herrndobler@chron.com]

Pendeta, pekerjaan yang tidak sehat

[Membaca laporan Paul Vitello untuk NYT ini sebenarnya tak membuat saya heran. Sudah banyak saya membaca tulisan-tulisan yang mengatakan bahwa pekerjaan pendeta itu berat dan karenanya break sangat diperlukan. Yang membuat artikel ini berbeda daripada yang lain sehingga saya merasa perlu menindaklanjutinya adalah saya. Sekarang saya mulai mengalami kebenarannya. Berat badan saya bertambah sekitar 20-25%, beberapa kali mengalami gangguan tidur dan mild depression. Syukur-syukur, Oh, Tuhan sungguh baik, belum sampai saya makan antidepressant.

Pertanyaan buat anda, para pendeta: dari pengalaman anda melayani, apa sih yang membuat pastor’s job itu berat, lebih berat daripada job-job lain? Atau, sebenarnya ngga berat-berat amat. Tapi kalau ngga, kenapa trend burnout pada pendeta meningkat ya? Kalau sempat, baca juga Body and soul dan Clergy health initiative ya...]

THE NEW YORK TIMES
August 1, 2010
Taking a Break From the Lord’s Work
By PAUL VITELLO

The findings have surfaced with ominous regularity over the last few years, and with little notice: Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could.

Public health experts who have led the studies caution that there is no simple explanation of why so many members of a profession once associated with rosy-cheeked longevity have become so unhealthy and unhappy.
But while research continues, a growing number of health care experts and religious leaders have settled on one simple remedy that has long been a touchy subject with many clerics: taking more time off.

“We had a pastor in our study group who hadn’t taken a vacation in 18 years,” said Rae Jean Proeschold-Bell, an assistant professor of health research at Duke University who directs one of the studies. “These people tend to be driven by a sense of a duty to God to answer every call for help from anybody, and they are virtually called upon all the time, 24/7.”

As cellphones and social media expose the clergy to new dimensions of stress, and as health care costs soar, some of the country’s largest religious denominations have begun wellness campaigns that preach the virtues of getting away. It has been described by some health experts as a sort of slow-food movement for the clerical soul.

In the United Methodist Church in recent months, some church administrators have been contacting ministers known to skip vacation to make sure they have scheduled their time, Ms. Proeschold-Bell said.

The church, the nation’s largest mainline Protestant denomination, led the way with a 2006 directive that strongly urged ministers to take all the vacation they were entitled to — a practice then almost unheard of in some busy congregations.

“Time away can bring renewal,” the directive said, “and help prevent burnout.”

The Episcopal, Baptist and Lutheran churches have all undertaken health initiatives that place special emphasis on the need for pastors to take vacations and observe “Sabbath days,” their weekday time off in place of Sundays.

The Lilly Endowment, a philanthropic foundation based in Indiana, has awarded grants of up to $45,000 each to hundreds of Christian congregations in the past few years, under a project called the National Clergy Renewal Program, for the purpose of giving pastors extended sabbaticals.

And while recent research has focused largely on mainline Protestant churches, some Jewish leaders have begun to encourage rabbis to take sabbaticals.

“We now recommend three or four months every three or four years,” said Rabbi Joel Meyers, a past executive vice president of the Rabbinical Assembly, the international association of Conservative rabbis. “There is a deep concern about stress. Rabbis today are expected to be the C.E.O. of the congregation and the spiritual guide, and never be out of town if somebody dies. And reply instantly to every e-mail.”

Some nondenominational evangelical Christian ministers have embraced a similar approach, outlined in two best-selling books by the Rev. Peter Scazzero, pastor of the New Life Fellowship Church in Elmhurst, Queens.

Mr. Scazzero, 54, is the unofficial leader of a growing counterculture among independent pastors who reject the constant-growth ethic that has contributed to the explosion of so-called mega-churches.

In the books, “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” and “The Emotionally Healthy Church,” he advocates more vacation time for members of the clergy, Sabbath-keeping, and a “rhythm of stopping,” or daily praying, that he learned from the silent order of Trappist monks.

Mr. Scazzero said that depression and alienation from his wife and four children prompted him a half-dozen years ago to try living more consciously and less compulsively.

“It’s hard to lead a contemplative life on Queens Boulevard,” Mr. Scazzero said. “But the insight I gained from the Trappists is that being too ‘busy’ is an impediment to one’s relationship with God.”

Clergy health studies say that many clerics have “boundary issues” — defined as being too easily overtaken by the urgency of other people’s needs.

Dr. Gwen Wagstrom Halaas, a family physician who is married to a Lutheran minister and who wrote a 2004 book raising the alarm about clergy health (“The Right Road: Life Choices for Clergy”), described the problem as a misperception about serving God.

“They think that taking care of themselves is selfish, and that serving God means never saying no,” she said.

Larger social trends, like the aging and shrinking of congregations, the dwindling availability of volunteers in the era of two-income households, and the likelihood that a male pastor’s wife has a career of her own, also spur some ministers to push themselves past their limits, she said.

The High Mountain Church of the Nazarene in North Haledon, N.J., started with 25 members 10 years ago and grew to 115 before its pastor, the Rev. Steven Creange, noticed strains in his marriage and decided to slow down.

Mr. Creange said he and his wife feel lavishly rested — and much happier — since they began observing Sabbath days on Fridays and making occasional weekend getaways.

“I just don’t go to every graduation and every communion anymore,” he said. “And people accept it.”

In May, the Clergy Health Initiative, a seven-year study that Duke University began in 2007, published the first results of a continuing survey of 1,726 Methodist ministers in North Carolina. Compared with neighbors in their census tracts, the ministers reported significantly higher rates of arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma. Obesity was 10 percent more prevalent in the clergy group.

The results echoed recent internal surveys by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, which found that 69 percent of its ministers reported being overweight, 64 percent having high blood pressure and 13 percent taking antidepressants.

A 2005 survey of clergy by the Board of Pensions of the Presbyterian Church also took special note of a quadrupling in the number of people leaving the profession during the first five years of ministry, compared with the 1970s.

Roman Catholic and Muslim clerics said the symptoms sounded familiar.

“We have all of these problems, but imams are reluctant to express it because it will seem like a sign of weakness,” said Imam Shamsi Ali, director of the Jamaica Muslim Center in Queens. “Also, mosques do not pay much and many of them work two jobs.”

Catholic canon law requires priests — “unless there is a grave reason to the contrary” — to take a spiritual retreat each year, and four weeks of vacation.
That vacation regulation has led Msgr. Gus Bennett of Brooklyn to take a camping trip on horseback in the Wyoming wilderness with friends every year for 30 years.
Monsignor Bennett, 87, a canon lawyer, now semi-retired, who spent most of his working years setting up and managing the pension plan for priests and lay employees of the Diocese of Brooklyn, says he has always felt his religious side to be most alive during those nights in Wyoming, “sleeping on the ground, under the whole of creation.”

He does not know how it affected his health. “I just know it made it easier to come back and jump into the books,” he said.

From chancel to narthex

In the chancel the pastor works in an atmosphere of acknowledged faith – every detail is clear, symmetrical, and purposed under the sign of redemption; in the narthex things are very different. The people, having received the benediction, now make a disorderly re-entry into a world of muddled marriages and chaotic cities, midlife boredom and adolescent confusion, ethical ambiguity and emotional distress. The pastor who has just lifted the cup of blessing before the people now shakes hands with the man whose wife has left him for another; the pastor who has just poured the waters of baptism on the head of an infant now sees pain in the eyes of the mother whose teenager is full of angry rebellion. The pastor who has just addressed a merciful Father in prayer now arranges to visit a bitter and cynical executive who has been unexpectedly discharged from his job; the pastor who has just been confidently handling the scriptures now touches hands that are tense with anxiety and calloused in a harsh servitude. (p. 74-75)

[Kalau ada yang kurang paham, chancel mungkin boleh disebut saja ruang ibadah, sedangkan narthex ruang lobby. Demikian simpelnya. Yang perlu ditekankan di sini, perbedaan suasana di dua ruang tersebut tak berarti bahwa kita hidup di dua dunia terpisah: di ruang ibadah, surgawi; di luar, duniawi atau bahkan satanik. Tidak begitu. Saya justru melihat bahwa tugas seorang pendeta tak berhenti pada memimpin ibadah di chancel, namun berlanjut hingga ke narthex, ke kehidupan sehari-hari setiap anggota jemaat dengan tantangan dan kesulitannya masing-masing. Seorang pendeta yang habis khotbah terus pulang sebenarnya bukan gembala; ia mungkin aktor/aktris atawa selebritis.]

Sumber:
Eugene H. Peterson, Five smooth stones for pastoral work (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1992).

One day's wages

sebuah gerakan kreatif-shalomik diprakarsai oleh seorang pastor korean, eugene cho. i'm so impressed by this movement and think it's good to share the clip with you. memang benar, seringkali upaya sederhana, jika dikerjakan dengan setia, dan diatur dengan bijaksana, bisa membawa dampak yang positif. bonhoeffer pernah berkata, saya kutip dari blog eugene juga, "one act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons." may god bless our works!

Teks tentang cinta

Another poem by Silado. Taken from the same book, p. 65.

Teks tentang cinta

Jika aku hilang mata
a. Buta
Jika aku hilang kuping
b. Tuli
Jika aku hilang kaki
c. Lumpuh
Jika aku hilang tangan
d. Buntung
Jika aku hilang rambut
e. Botak
Jika aku hilang harta
f. Miskin
Jika aku hilang semuanya
g. Pasrah
Asal jangan hilang hati untuk mencintai

Ekawicara

A mailing list friend posted it, and I think I want to share it with you here. It is taken from Silado (761 or 461)'s book of poem, "Puisi-puisi Remy Silado," p. 59-62.

EKAWICARA

kita sama sudah mengusir
tujuh waris dosa adam dosa hawa
yang sombong
yang marah
yang iri
yang makan berlebihan
yang malas
yang tamak
yang menyatu dalam daging
yang menyatu dalam atma
yang menyatu dalam sejarah

kita sama sudah mengusir
tujuh waris dosa adam dosa hawa
sebab kita lagi memuji sang penebus
tapi rudolf bultman
tapi dietrich bonhoeffer
tapi paul tillich
tapi j.h. muhler
tapi j.a.t. robinson
tapi jurgen moltman
tapi wolfhart pannenberg
dilenakan menjadi megah dalam teologi
teologi yang mengajar orang ngotot
teologi yang mengajar orang otonom
teologi yang mengajar orang rasional
teologi yang melupakan penyerahan diri

buang beban teologi
supaya kita terima penebusan dosa adam dosa hawa
dalam rumus penyerahan diri
dalam putih
dalam polos
dalam transparan
dalam tembus ruang
supaya nyata tuhan pada salib

tuhan awal
awal tuhan
tuhan dalam
dalam tuhan
siapa tuhan
tuhan siapa
kalau bukan Tuhan
tuhan jawab
jawab tuhan
bukan dalam akal
kendati akal dalam
dalam hati
hati dalam
dalam iman
iman dalam
dalam kini
tuhan masuk
masuk tuhan
kerna penyerahan diri

kita anak semua zaman
anak menangis
anak derita
anak dosa
dosa adam dosa hawa
berpacu lebih keras dari kebaikan

di gelap kita tersembunyi dalam topeng
bukan kerna kita aktor-aktor kampiun
dalam satu teater
di mana pengarang bercita-cita kalahkan kepalsuan
dengan kebaikan dengan moral
seperti sophokles pernah dipuji
seperti shakespeare pernah dipuji
seperti shaw pernah dipuji
seperti sartre pernah dipuji
tapi topeng sembunyikan kita dari dusta
adakah sutradara yang bisa kendalikan keindahan?
jika keindahan berawal dari golgota
dan bukan dari taman eden

roh kita roh tujuh waris dosa adam dosa hawa
kita mencari ketentraman dalam kesenangan
kita senang kita ketawa
dalam topeng
dalam teater
dalam cita-cita
dalam idealisme
dalam ambisi tepuk tangan
sementara dalam nurani kita diimbau-imbau
ke cermin asali makin tua makin jelek
makin hilang keperkasaan
makin hilang ketegaran
makin hilang keceriaan
makin hilang kegesitan
makin hilang kekuatan
kecuali makin mau hidup lama
dalam kesia-siaan daging
dalam dosa waris adam waris hawa

berbisiklah bukan pada orang terkasih
sebab kekasih dapat berkhianat
berbisiklah bukan kepada harum bunga
sebab setelah berkembang bunga akan layu
berbisiklah bukan kepada langit cerah
sebab setelah cerah akan datang awan memele
berbisiklah bukan kepada angin sepoi
sebab setelah sepoi berlalu datang badai
berbisiklah bukan kepada terang bulan
sebab setelah purnama redup datang gerhana
berbisiklah bukan kepada terik mentari
sebab setelah senja segera gelap mengganti
berbisiklah kepada nurani
sebab nurani wilayah mahkamah ilahi
di situ muncul tuhan dengan kasih abadi
dalam nyatanya kita lebih suka jadi batu
tidak mendengar bisikan ilahi
dalam nyatanya kita memang harus lahir baru
membuka hati akan bisikan ilahi.